Growing up in a small community in Southern Illinois, I loved life and people. Our Momma took us to Sunday School and Church regularly. She taught us to love God and people. On the outside we looked liked a happy family of six and there were times we were a happy family. I remember enjoyable Christmases, Mule Days, fishing trips, and hunting arrowheads.
Day time was normal everyday life, however, when dark came it brought fear and terror with it. We would go to bed early just hoping to get a few hours of peaceful sleep before the dreaded sound of dad’s truck slapping and the front door opening. Once the front door slap shut all terror was getting ready to break out. I remember yelling, screaming, things flying through the house, windows breaking, and mom crying as she was being thrown around.
But peace always came in the morning and life seemed normal again.
I thought life was normal as a young child and to be honest I loved life. But when I became a young adult with children, the enemy began to whisper, “You’ll never be good enough, see your own dad who is supposed to love and protect you does not.” and “Oh look at your friends who have loving and supportive grandparents for their children.”
It was when I became a parent that I truly realized something was missing from my childhood because as a parent I would do everything possible to love and protect my babies.
That fear of never being good enough drove me to go above and beyond to make people like me. I would pour all of myself into every relationship which left me trapped in many codependent friendships most which ended very painfully. At age 22 I was blessed beyond measures with an amazing husband and two beautiful daughters who loved me dearly and I love them dearly but on the inside I was broken, tired and empty.
My husband sought the Lord on my behalf to find a place where I would received healing. It led me to a place in Boone, NC called His High Places. This is where my healing began as they gave me scriptures and tools to start walking out my wholeness in the Lord.
Now, I have been trained through Elijah House to help people find freedom in Him!
I want to say that my precious earthly dad went to be with Jesus 2 years ago. He and I were blessed to have fourteen years of precious time together; fully restored and redeemed.